Goodbye, Judith.

I play EverQuest. Okay? Get the snickering out of the way, because I need your serious attention for this next part.

One of the people I play with sometimes, a woman in her early 40s named Judith, died in a fire today. I was online and heard people talking about the fact that someone in the community had died, and my first thought was, "Probably no one I know."

Then I heard that it was someone from the community I'm most closely involved with in EQ. Then I thought, "Oh no, either PersonX or PersonY finally succumbed to her cancer." But I was wrong on both counts.

A day ago Judith was alive and perfectly healthy, and now she's gone. Completely random and tragic enough to make her local news. Everyone is in shock. Weeping real tears, not virtual ones. Because despite what people who don't "do the online thing" may believe, "computer friends" are not "computer friends." They're just friends. We chat with them every day about whatever. Some of them get on our nerves. Some of them are cruel and petty. Some of them, like Judith, are strong-willed and opinionated and yet somehow never manage to say anything bad about another person.

I remember her as being eccentric, well-spoken, and endlessly friendly. She was one of the people who always accepted me, always treated me as a friend even though I wasn't in her closest circle. Online socializing works much like real-life socializing. There are cliques, rivalries, hurt feelings, miscommunications, and varying levels of trust. Some of the community I play with had met her in person; most of us had not. But we are all in agreement that we've suffered a real loss.

I'm not one to sentimentally ascribe perfect virtue to people just on account of their being dead. Judith was no saint, but saints aren't interesting. Judith was a real person, with quirks and ideas and odd habits. But she was a good person. A friendly person. And now she's gone.

I just hope she knows, somehow, how many people out there genuinely miss her, even if they hever got to hear her reportedly amazing laugh or give her a hug that wasn't surrounded by asterisks.