Fear of Success?

So, KoD represents the height of my writing ability at this point in my life. It has the best plot, the best characters, the best structure, and the best backdrop of any story I've yet told, especially in screenplay form. Also the first 13 pages contain some of the best and smoothest dialogue I've written, as well. So... why have I not written page 14?

The last time I worked on this was February 20th. Many a time I have sat down to continue my work, and every time I find some excuse not to work on it. It's not a huge mystery. I know my psychology well enough by now. It's not exactly fear of success; it's more, "This is the best I can do. What if THIS isn't good enough?" I know the answer is, "then you'll have to keep getting better." Lord knows I'm a better writer at 31 than I was at 26, and I was a better writer at 26 than I was at 21, and 16, and 11, and 6... so it stands to reason I'll be even better at 36 than I am now. People don't generally become WORSE writers until AFTER they get successful. So long as I'm still hungry, still frustrated, still aching to prove myself, I should continue to improve.

That's all well and good, both logical and inspirational. And yet, here I am at a quarter to ten, going to bed instead of writing.

If I don't put in FIVE SOLID HOURS of writing tomorrow I am going to have to punish myself SEVERELY.